I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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