i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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