don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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