Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
