if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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