Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
