I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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