Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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