I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
