You work out of a Hotel?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
