hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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