Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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