were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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