Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
