Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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