What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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