i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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