No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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