I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
