thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My balls are so social today.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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