I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have feelings that need drinking.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
