i was rollin on her like bob the builder
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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