the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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