That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
