don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He told me they were just razor bumps!
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
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The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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