no, he came in my armpit
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize