I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
