it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize