sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
