isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
