My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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