some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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