Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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