shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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