? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
