Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
