..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
