this just has baby written all over it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
