Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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