remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
