I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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