There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
