It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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