don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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