and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
