I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
