Can i not drive my cunt home
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dating After Heartbreak
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants