; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
