Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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