get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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