Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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