Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
