Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
