Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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