Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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