He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize