how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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