Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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