I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Everyone says I win the strip club
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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