So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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