I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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