had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
