If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
