did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
