Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
